your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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