So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
