You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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