Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
