well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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