ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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