Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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