Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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