Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize