I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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