There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
