I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Panties = found
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
