Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
