theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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