Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
