i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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