I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize