But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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