So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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