I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
