nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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