why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Pooping to opera.
Randomize