Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
