this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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