remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
