My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
