Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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