How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
