I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
