She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
