Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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