went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
