we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
