so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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