a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize