i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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