yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
