i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I need a burrito and a hug.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
