just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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