this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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