he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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