I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize