I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
