Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
