Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
