I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
