i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
