every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
