you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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