Christians are straight up FREAKS
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
