So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
