I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize