...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
