Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
