Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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