it was like eating out sand paper
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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