My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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