there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
