I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
