nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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