i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
