So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i think i have herpe
just one?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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