The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
