It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
