nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
